You don’t have to be a rock star

We went out for Michelle’s birthday. Dinner, drinks and dancing. I wish Caitlin hadn’t told me that Injera tastes and feels like boiled flesh. Her accuracy really affected the meal for me.
At the bar they played most of a Can album. How cool is that? On our way to the dance club, we meet this dude who’s all about this pop-tarts commercial: the one that features some guy yelling at a car full of girls as his car bounces up and down on some ‘roid-ragin’ pneumatic shocks. The yell sounds like the evil love-child between a simple ‘boom’ and a four-year old doing a car-driving-fast sound. Add I-told-you-so arrogance for good measure. So dude lets the yell rip.

“Like, what was that?” I said.

“You know that pop-tarts commercial?” he said.
“Oh, right, right, right. Do it again.”

WWWWWWWW,” went the guy.


He gave a couple more shouts, to us and then to some people walking along the opposite sidewalk. We got the twelve year-old ‘whatever’ look from them.

“Dude, you are like the man in charge.” I said and his girlfriend added, “Oh, you don’t know how much he thinks so.” We left with a few more BEEEEEEYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAOOOOOOWWWWW-
WWWWW’s following us to the club.

For some odd reason, the Rolling Stones came up while we were at the bar. Then calls for my Mick Jagger impression. Since Kraków, where this party trick got out of hand (Do Yagar Maczek. Do Yagar.), I’ve been sticking to the “I’m an artist not a performer” school of reticence. I held out until after midnight, when it truly was Michelle’s birthday. So, in front of the club, I pranced around and flapped my lips. Done. Happy Birthday. Let’s go into the club.

The bouncer says, “How about that Mick Jagger impression again?”

“Really? Okay, but for a reduced cover.”

“You can get in for free.”

I quickly dropped any artist snobbery and performed. I pranced around and flapped my lips and got my hand stamped without forking over a Sir Wilfred Laurier. I think the word for this situation might be BEEEEEEYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAOOOOOOWW-

Comments are closed.