Lamer than Lame

Saturday night in Whitby and the I’ve never seen the parking lot at the Blockbuster so packed.

Earlier in the day, Elif suggested that we find at least another friend in town. It makes sense. Someone with a different opinion about the town would be refreshing. Still, this fictitious fourth person, who we now call Ringo, would have to know that Evelyn Waugh isn’t girl and George Eliot is.

We were pretty self-conscious as we walked into the movie-rental place. In Montreal, Elif had a conversation with a friend from university.

“So, where are you living now?” asked Will the friend.

“In Whitby,” said Elif.

“Oh, so you rent videos?”

It hurts ‘cause now it’s too true.

You see, the weather may be getting better and the flowers may be blooming, but this is actually a dark time in the ‘burbs. In the previous months, when the sun went down, there was the 500-channel universe to keep the existential angst away. Now, all our favourites have packed it in for the summer. I still have MASH from 10 to 11pm. Martha has [gag!] Trading Spaces.

The only sport worth following, hockey, is essentially over for the season. Despite my best efforts, armed with all my good-luck tokens (lucky rabbit’s foot, lucky half-eaten piece of cake from my 10th birthday and lucky two-by-four), the Ottawa Senators lost on Friday. Now, I just hope that that f*$#in’ Walt Disney team doesn’t win the Cup.

So it’s off to the video store we went, while my parents were in Battawa attending some Scottish haggis-eating fest (pretty weird for a couple of Poles) and Elif’s parents were out hanging with friends. Two houses devoid of parents! If this was high-school, there’s no way this opportunity would be wasted with a movie rental. But, we’re much more mature now. We watched the flick and then Saturday Night Live and then after a few yawns Mar and I headed home. Elif’s parents had shown us all up, staying out well past 1am. The real kicker, though, was getting home to find my parents hadn’t gotten back yet. What the hell! They had to got to church the next day. Just who did they think they were!? I waited up to give them a good scolding.

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